When The Clans Get Screwed
by WarrorCatTalez
Summary: I MAY NOT UPDATE EVER AGAIN NOT SURE No one knows how it quite happened. StarClan did do nothin' and everything is changing. So now the legacies can lie in the viewer's paws. (AKA review ideas and I may use them) Rated T because this is Warriors. WARNING- Uses extream randomness and use of two leg objects keep calm peeps.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, Universe! So this is my first story and I hope I don't totally fail! So if you can please tell me what you think so it'll make me excited to make more chapters. I also want you guys to show me to your friends. (Does voodoo to make you do it...) So without further ado, The Clans Get Screwed!**

In StarClan

*PineStar wheezes* "Guys! BlueStar just mentally told me that Ravenpaw killed Redtail!" *Cats gasp*

"Hh-e couldn't have!" Thrushpelt whined.

"Oh jeez, the clans are screwed," SnowFur screamed taking out her notebook. "It says _TigerClaw_ was supposed to kill Redtail." She said as she muttered other stuff under her breath.

"NOOOO!" She screamed pulling snowy fur out.

"What?" ThistleClaw asked trying to comfort her.

"Get away from my daughter!" MoonFlower screeched and smacked him. *PineStar facepalms*

"Guys shut up!" PineStar shrieked making them almost go deaf. "I'm sorry..." He said sadly. "The Clans Are Screwed."

Back in ThunderClan...

"Redtails dead!" BlueStar whined grabbing a fern to cry into.

"She's an ugly sobber." DarkStripe whispered to no one.

"Ah, what about deputy?" WhiteStorm asked as he went to BlueStar's side.

*Rubes her nose* "Deputy is SpottedLeaf."

SpottedLeaf looks surprised. (She was a warrior and WhiteStorm is the med cat)

"Thanks, BlueStar." She said. "Now you felines." She screeched. "I want a hunting patrol, and a patrol get to it!"

"Hey, Graypaw go to two leg place," LionHeart said.

"OK," Greypaw said leaving camp.

Greypaw's POV

"La de da de da..." Greypaw sang as he danced along the forest. He heard something and moved his ears.

He looked ahead at a cat catching mice. Well... failing to catch mice.

"En Garde!" He screamed and fought the ginger cat.

"Hey! You're a forest cat that kills housecats!" The ginger cat said with awe.

"No, I'm not." Greypaw snorted. "I actually could kill you know kitty but I'm just too merciful." He said rubbing his nails with black nail polish.

'Your saying your weak basically."

He snapped a nail. "Off course I'm not." He said trying not to cry.

"Greypaw why are you talking to kitty pets!" WhiteStorm asked.

"Why are you here?" Greypaw asked sassily.

*Rolls eyes* "Because I thought you were going to eat kitty pet food your unusually fat."

*Gasps* "Am not!"

"Yes, you are." Turns to the cat. "So what's your name."

"Rusty," He said pointing to the name tag on his chest.

Greypaw mutters stuff to himself.

"You fought well for a kitty pet." HE said.

"Wanna join ThunderClan?"

"OMG YES!" *Messages Smudge*- _G'bye ol' friend, I'm movin' to Clan life_

*Throws phone in puddle.* "I'm ready."

Back In ThunderClan...

"Hey, guys we have a new cat!" WhiteStorm screams as he walks into camp.

He then pushed Rusty to BlueStar, "So this is Rusty the kitty pet." *Clan gasps*

"He not allowed!" Screeched LongTail. "He has a collar!"

"I have a solution!" Rusty said and ruffled through his fur throwing out a cupcake, banana, PPAP, Music Player... "Ah ha!" *Holds up scissors.*

*Cuts collar off* "There I'm a clan cat!" He said happily.

"Hi, Rusty you'll be Firepaw because of dat gorgeous fab pelt."

*Clan cheered and congratualted.* "Yes!" Jumps in the air.

"Hi." Looks and sees a gorgeous tortishelle she cat.

"Im SpottedLeaf." She said.

"Nice name." He complimented.

"Yep i got it tonight." She purred. "Welcome to ThunderClan." She smiled and left to BlueStar's den.


	2. Germs Are Bad

At the Training Hollow...

"OKAY KITTIES MARCH!" LionHeart screeched and instantly Sandpaw, Dustpaw, Greypaw, and Firepaw marched around the hollow.

"OK," He said and the four apprentices relaxed.

"DustyFACE show me your hunters crouch."

"It's Dustpaw!" He screamed but LionHearts scream was higher pitched.

"I DONT CARE DUSTYFACE SHOW ME YOUR HUNTERS CROUCH ASAP!"è

The cat got out his "Wild" iPhone and put on a mouses mating call(If there ever was one).

Suddenly a mouse came and he swatted it and gave it to Lionheart. "There." He said.

"ARGH!" He screamed pounding his head on a tree. "I REBUKE how Bluestar allowed cell phones." He then ran back to camp screaming. "Yeah! Dustyface." Sandpaw snickered eavily and showed the other cats a remix of PPAP.

After that video...

"OH MEH GAWD!" Firepaw screamed and rolled onto his back hollering.

"TWAT DID TU JUST SHOW MEH?" Dustpaw cried sobbing into Greypaw's shoulder.

"EWW EWWW EWWWW GERMS!" Greypaw shrieked and hit Dustpaw's head with a stick.

He then ran to camp.

Back at The Barn -No not a literal barn it refers to back at camp ;) but earlier...-

"Bluestar!" Lionheart gasped as he came into camp. "Bluestars busy." SpottedLeaf meowed.

"Where is she?!" He cried.

SpottedLeaf pointed her tail to a sign against her den.

"Beauty Spa In Progress...3 Contact BrindleXFrost"

Lionheart ran past her and came in to see Frostfur and Brindleface painting her nails with mashed up berries.

"I told you not to use two leg majatakas(What?) anymore!"

"Eh," Bluestar said VERY sassisly.

"Please. tell. the. apprentices. that. they. cant. use. phones. there. turning. into. two. leg. kits."

Bluestar rang a bell and Spottedlef came in. "Please 'Escort' this cat out of my den."

SpottedLeaf falcon-punched him out of the den.

"OW!" He whined. "MY BUTT!"

"Too bad!" SpottedLeaf growled and shut the lichen to Bluestar's den.

"EWW EWWW EWWWW!" Greypaw screamed as he ran into camp.

"I Have GerMS!" He sobbed running into circles.

He touched RunningWind, GoldenFlower, TigerClaw, and DarkStripe and they ran into circles chanting- "WE HAVE GERMS, FEAR US!"

Bluestar, Bridleface, and Frostfur came out of BlueStar's den holding anti-bacterial guns. They sprayed the infected cats.

"Thanks, Frostfur." They said and Brindleface growled. "Why am I not popular." She said.

"Lionheart!" Bluestar said. "We are wild cats who have NO need to use two-leg objects or ancient ways."

"Every cat obtaining a two-leg object come here!" Sadly, the cats came and piled are their stuff into a pile and Bluestar lit it on fire.

In The Apprentice Den…

"Hey, Sandpaw!" Dustpaw said, "Yeah?" "Make fun of Firepaw." "No." She said. "I'll give you prey." He said. "Okay." She shrugged.

"HEY! Kittypetpaw!"

"Huh?" Firepaw said dumbly.

"YEAH, you!" She said. "You're a kitty pet!"

"Okay." He shrugged.

"Why aren't you angry?" She asked.

"Because I'm awesome." He said simply.

He then dabbed ad left the den.

"GRRRRRR!"


	3. Intro of new cats!

**OCs recommended by- SilverMidnightMoon (Grassgrass) and . (Olliver)**

A gray shape mingled through the trees... It had the darkest of gray fur and with fangs bared it...

Ate grass "DIS GRASS IS GOOD!" He meowed stupidly as he munched.

He walked into ThunderClan. "DIS GRASS IS GOOD!" he yowled as he threw grass on the cats.

"DIS GRASS IS GOOD!" The meowed as they ate it.

"Whats your name?" Bluestar asked. "GRASSYGRASS!" He said

"Hi, you're the deputy GRASSYGRASS, Spottedleaf you're retired.

"I'm not an elder!" She screamed.

"AHHHH!" Bluestar screamed and fell dead.

"Hey GRASSYGRASS is the leader!" Dustpelt cheered.

At Moonstone...

"Okay Grassygrass press your nose against the stone and fall to sleep." Whitestorm meowed.

"OKAI!" he said stupidly and fell asleep with loud obnoxious snores.

He poofed in four trees.

"Hey, Grassygrass!" Auntiegrass said.

"I give you the life for tasty grass."

Olliver stepped up. "Olliver! I didn't know you were dead!" Grassgrass gasped.

"I'm not I'm just so awesome I'm giving you a life! I give you the life to never leave your mate because that's what I did!'

Grassygrass nodded.

"Hi Grassygrass in Redtail I was killed but I'm giving you the life of- 'DIS GRASS IS GOOD!'"

He whispered in his ear- "Your grass is good!" he stepped back.

Bluestar swagged forward. "Because I'm so awesome I'm giving you six lives! Grass, Gras, Graas, Grasss, Grs, and GO GO POWER GRASSES TV show!"

"OMG, I LOVE THAT SERIES!" Grassygrass screeched.

"Grassugrassstar! Grassygrassstar! Grassygrassstar!"

"Congrats!"

SUPER SHORT BUT SO SORRY! IM GOING TO BE INACTIVE SO I DECIDED TO INCLUDE SOME CATS TWO PEOPLE RECOMMENDED. #LONGLIVEGRASSYGRASSSTAR!


End file.
